Mastering Korean as an adult: My unconventional path to fluency
How acting lessons and an embarrassing Hanja mishap helped me go from rusty to fluent in Korean.
Most people in Korea assume I’m typically Korean until they speak with me at length. That’s when my flaws, gaps, and insecurities start to show. Then, they just assume I’m a bit slow or a little dumb… until my ego kicks in and I have to blurt it out: 죄송해요, 제 한국말이 아직 많이 서툴어요! (Sorry, my Korean is still a bit rusty sometimes!)
Korean was my first language, but after living in a predominantly white state in the US from age 6 to 18, my language skills waned. Despite my native Korean parents insisting on using Korean at home, it plateaued without Korean friends, a Korean community, or a local Korean VHS rental store to keep the language alive.
I actually know a lot of people of Korean heritage who can relate to this experience. Usually, they’re second or 1.5 generation immigrant children who grew up with exclusively Korean-speaking parents. Despite having excellent comprehension, they often struggle to express themselves verbally at the same level. (One exception/language hack: Korean Americans whose grandmas lived with them, or who were part of a tight-knit Korean church community.)
If you’re like me, and find yourself struggling to re-learn a language as an adult, don’t despair. Mastering Korean is challenging, but not impossible with consistent dedication and effort. Here are some methods that worked for me in my personal language (re)learning journey.
Join communities of like-minded people
For me, it started in east coast when I met Korean international students for the first time on my college campus. That’s when I found my first Korean community. But even if you’re too old to befriend local students without feeling like a creep, you can still find your people.
Perhaps you’re in the middle of nowhere without a Korean Cultural Center in sight, but that’s where the internet comes in. From language meetups to local Korean mommy Facebook groups, there’s really something for everyone. For parents, one great community I’ve found online is Raising Bilingual Children In English & Korean. They do an inclusive and thoughtful job at helping parents—often rusty in Korean themselves—instill Korean language and culture in their children.
Watch K-drama—on stage!
I know that Netflix K-dramas are the gateway drug to learning Korean (who else is watching/sobbing through When Life Gives You Tangerines right now?), but there’s something really special about watching dramas on stage. Even if you don’t follow or understand the plot 100%, the delivery and energy are just different in person. You get to observe how an actor interprets every word or phrase in their utterance. The breaths, the pauses, the subtle nuances. Theater is both intimate and explosive, drawing you in and while pushing something raw and vulnerable.
The majority of the shows I watched in Daehakno, Seoul’s theater district, were in small black box theaters with tickets costing 10,000 to 15,000 KRW (less than 10 USD). You can get same-day tickets for even cheaper—highly recommend catching as much theater as you can when you’re visiting Korea (except Nanta. Don’t @ me, but seriously, don’t do it).
Take acting or speech lessons in Korean
When I came to Korea as an adult, my late aunt (a former actress herself) recommended I take acting lessons to improve my Korean. She introduced me to an acting school that connected me with phenomenal stage actors who, at the time, were only known in theater circles—but later found recognition through K-dramas like Mr. Sunshine and The Glory. That’s how I ended up spending a good part of my twenties in Daehakno, watching free plays with actor friends. Learning Korean from actors was such a holistic experience—from pairing my voice to my body to reciting poetry, savoring pauses, and controlling my breath. IMHO, actors have the best command of language. I credit the years I spent in theaters and with actors for my Korean diction, which is often seen as the missing piece for people who learn languages as adults. So do yourself a favor and hire an actor tutor—stage actors are severely underpaid in Korea and they could use the side gig.
If you're a selective K-drama watcher, may I suggest simply Naver searching 염혜란 (pictured above right) and watching anything she’s cast in? She was one of my teachers, and she really knows how to pick her scripts. Ever since she started her screen career, she hasn’t been in a single project that’s disappointed.
Adult speech academies (성인 스피치학원) could also prepare you for better speaking, but these are usually designed for ambitious adults and corporate types who want become more persuasive or improve their presentation skills at work.
Commit to Korean lessons with a qualified tutor
I love a good language exchange, but in order for it to work, it has to be a real exchange where both people get value. Thankfully, I’ve found an arrangement that works really well for people living in Korea who want a free but qualified English teacher.
The key to a good language exchange in Korea is arranging meetings on weekday mornings with private academy instructors, former teachers, or teachers on break (public school teachers get up to 3 years of parental leave before their children reach the age of 8, so I’ve met many teachers on break who have mornings free to pursue their interests while their kids are in daycare or at school). My most recent Korean teacher was a Korean major and a middle school teacher on break. The tutor I had in another city before moving to Gyeongnam was also a Korean teacher at a local private academy. Despite being highly qualified teachers themselves, they didn’t really care about my background—all they wanted was a native English speaker.
In all my language exchanges, I’ve found that sticking to a schedule of 45 minutes in one language, and 45 minutes in another language is just enough to engage everyone without overwhelming them (after 40 minutes or so, my teachers-students would start getting actual headaches from thinking too hard in another language). Another important rule is not to get too close to your teacher. I’ve seen a lot of language exchanges often evolve to friendships, and once that happens, all professionalism and learning goes out the window and you end up with a good friend and bad Korean.
Familiarize yourself with some Hanja (Chinese characters)
Everyone takes Korean classes to learn Korean, but the true players learn Hanja (Chinese characters). Hanja is at the core of Korean—in fact, most Korean words are rooted in Chinese characters. It’s like learning Latin affixes to better understand English vocabulary. Plus, basic knowledge of the most common Chinese characters is practical in everyday life, like when you have to order a small or large size platter at a Korean restaurant and the menu uses a single Chinese character next to the dish to denote the size.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have that basic knowledge when I first came to Korea and confidently announced to a group of people that I was heading to 김네김밥 around the corner to grab a roll of kimbap. Turns out, the actual name of the is 김가네김밥—I had just assumed that the Hanja in between the Hangul was some kind of design element. Ever since then, I’ve been studying Hanja with my Korean tutors and I’m now forever suspicious of businesses with Hanja in their names.
Read Korean children’s books designed to familiarize kids with Korean adages, spelling, and grammar
It’s no secret that my eldest, who’s in fourth grade, is about to surpass my academic Korean. To keep up with her, I flip through illustrated learning books that she enjoyed as a first and second grader. Comic books like the “읽으면서 바로 써먹는” children’s series books are entertaining enough for the kids while being quite useful for adults who are trying to improve fluency in Korean. Books like 읽으면서 바로 써먹는 어린이 속담 (proverbs) and 읽으면서 바로 써먹는 어린이 맞춤법 (spelling) are particularly useful for those getting acquainted with common Korean sayings and commonly confused words and expressions. There are so many books like this on the market, and the best way is to search for them on Naver and see recommended related titles.
Use online tools to help you improve on the go
I can’t recommend a Korean course because I never used one, but there is just so much out there to choose from. In addition to courses, you could supplement your specific needs with AI, which is evil and going to take all our jobs, but also really great at coaching you through gaps in your language capacity. Ask ChatGPT, Claude, DeepL, or your go-to tool to generate not just an answer, but to assess your original writing/input and always ask why the changes have been made. Use the voice conversation feature to practice conversation while you commute or drive. It’s not perfect, but it’s the closest thing to a free language coach at your leisure. Even without employing AI, simply having the dictionary and translation apps open on your device and checking proper spacing (like the 다움맞춤법검사기) tools available online regularly can help hone your language skills.
Talk to old people
Don’t ask me for citations, but I’m pretty sure there’s a biochemical change that hits Koreans around the age of 55 that makes them start talking. They start talking to strangers. They start talking to no one in particular. It happened to my mom, and now I see it happening to my dad, too. I think it’s a mix of IDGAF-ism that comes with age, gradual social isolation, and just a touch of loneliness creeping in.
If you want to practice your Korean, find an elderly Korean. Go to your local mom-and-pop restaurant and chat with the owners. Talk to your nosy neighbor. Talk to your nosy landlord. And, if you dare, ask your taxi driver about the current state of politics—just be prepared for a lecture rather than a conversation.
Read Korean books
I saved the hardest and most obvious for last. Because it’s hard, and because it’s true. You cannot become better at Korean without reading Korean books. The one Korean American I know who speaks elevated, educated Korean like a Korean without having ever really lived in Korea is a woman who reads voraciously. (If you’re reading this, hi Bobbie unnie! You’re my hero.)
Thankfully, Korean books don’t have to be a chore because there are so many easy reads out there. Look for 에세이집, a collection of personal essays. These are easy to digest little nuggets, life lessons, and antidotes to ennui that have become wildly popular in Korea. Since there’s still some stigma around therapy in Korea, maybe that’s why so many of these books feel therapeutic and cathartic.
Ultimately, this is my own personal non-linear, unconventional journey to Korean fluency, and it’s far from over. I may never feel completely perfect at it, but I’ve reached a point where I can negotiate with clients, give lectures in Korean, and—this is notable—call my husband out when his grammar slips. Progress, especially in language acquisition, doesn’t always follow a straight path. But you’ll find new milestones and probably something to laugh about at every turn.